He was glad enough just to hear a kind voice, even if it was a fake kindness, even if his ex-wife's gentleness, like Vladimir's, was all just an act.Oh god, Volodymyr thought, putting out a hand to keep his balance. He suddenly felt unstable on the heels and sat on the edge of the thin, dirty-looking bed. How can I go through with this?"Have you written your note, sweetie?" Olena asked in sugared tones. "That's important. You didn't forget, did you?"Volodymyr shook his head. "I remembered."He felt like he was going to vomit, suddenly terrified. He tried to keep his eyes on the floor. He didn't want to look at what he knew he'd see hanging from the plaster-covered beam above the open closet. That's where it would happen, just outside the closet, Volodymyr thought, how ironic."Read it to make sure, will you Vladimir?"Olena's husband went over to the night-table where Volodymyr had left the suicide note. He picked it up and read it out loud. In it, Volodymyr explained how his life was. Like that is going to happen, ‘he chortled. ‘Who the hell would want to run off with my mum?’ Becca must have sensed that I had tightened up in preparation to saying something protective. In my view Josh and his father treated Becca like shit a lot of the time, not so much intentional cruelty more a lack of appreciation, and I know that she was often hurt by their insensitivity. She just climbed into the cab of the Land Rover and said quietly, ‘Hadn’t we better be going, Jamie dear?’ I let it drop and climbed up to the driver seat and then, on a sudden impulse grabbed up the small camera that I kept in the glove compartment, stood on the door sill and waved it at Josh. ‘Smile for the camera, Joshie babe,’ I laughed clicking the shutter furiously, ‘Let’s get a shot of those Y fronts for the college notice board!’ ‘You’re a bastard, Jamie!’ he shouted, but he was grinning widely as he leapt into the house and slammed the door. Josh was a basically nice guy but he was devoid of any.
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